Wow!

You know its funny how my life has turned out. My kids are getting so big and its getting to me how I have noticed how grown they are. I sill want my babies to be babies. No more of that when they are 7 and 12. I feel like I missed out for so long. I really want life to be move slower so I still enjoy what childhoods they got left. I started thinking more of my own childhood and how it just passed me by. I went from a child playing with my dolls to having boyfriends to getting married and having my own children. It did not go in that order all the way but pretty close. I have been a great mom for the most part. I know I can use some touch up skills. But I just call my sister for that help. Family never seemed that important to me as a child. I am not sure why but never felt that deep connection to my family and never really wanted to be apart of it. Now I have missed out on ton with my family and wish I could change my ways and become more apart of my family. I miss having my Mom around me asking me things about my day and homework. I miss all the dance classes I went too. I miss my dog that I loved to train and showed in dog shows. I miss my bass guitar and playing to every song that played on the radio. I miss playing out on my Dad's boat going swimming all summer along. I just miss being a child and not having a care in the world.
Now I worry all the time about what is going to happen next. I still have the need to call my Mom and tell her where I am. I am the grown up now and its not easy. Its hard to tell myself that on the days when my childish side wants to come out and play. But its the truth. I have done all the fun things already, time to move on and start new fun things with my own children (which I already have but we got more to do before they have grown up and moved on.). Take life as it comes and try to not change anything just make it better! :)