Wow!

You know its funny how my life has turned out. My kids are getting so big and its getting to me how I have noticed how grown they are. I sill want my babies to be babies. No more of that when they are 7 and 12. I feel like I missed out for so long. I really want life to be move slower so I still enjoy what childhoods they got left. I started thinking more of my own childhood and how it just passed me by. I went from a child playing with my dolls to having boyfriends to getting married and having my own children. It did not go in that order all the way but pretty close. I have been a great mom for the most part. I know I can use some touch up skills. But I just call my sister for that help. Family never seemed that important to me as a child. I am not sure why but never felt that deep connection to my family and never really wanted to be apart of it. Now I have missed out on ton with my family and wish I could change my ways and become more apart of my family. I miss having my Mom around me asking me things about my day and homework. I miss all the dance classes I went too. I miss my dog that I loved to train and showed in dog shows. I miss my bass guitar and playing to every song that played on the radio. I miss playing out on my Dad's boat going swimming all summer along. I just miss being a child and not having a care in the world.
Now I worry all the time about what is going to happen next. I still have the need to call my Mom and tell her where I am. I am the grown up now and its not easy. Its hard to tell myself that on the days when my childish side wants to come out and play. But its the truth. I have done all the fun things already, time to move on and start new fun things with my own children (which I already have but we got more to do before they have grown up and moved on.). Take life as it comes and try to not change anything just make it better! :)

From the start.

I need to start this out just the way it needs to go. My name is Missy Burkett. I live in a small town in the southern part of Michigan. I have lived in Michigan all my life. I am 30 years of age divorced with two children. My son is the oldest and my daughter is the youngest. I have a man in my life who I will never truly marry. We will always remain boyfriend and girlfriend. People ask me why and I tell them about my divorce.
Aah yes the divorce or should we call it more like a blood bath. When two people get married they should really think about it deeply. I mean you are going to pay alot of money for a party and if things don't work out. Well then you are paying a lot of money to get out of the marrage. All things you buy together one person ends up getting it all. In my case I didn't want items to remind me what I had at one time. So I left them behind me. The one thing I could not give up was my children, that was all I asked for. He let me have them with the understanding that I still had to bring the children to see him. It sounded easy but really it wasn't that simple.The fights would brake out in front of children. This was mainly due to me losing my cool. I never liked him to have the children. I never knew if they were safe. He was not seeming to me to have the right frame of mind to take care of the children right. When really he was fine it was just me. I was thinking how could he do this and and still be a good father. I was mad at him for wanting to leave me. The fight over the children begin. The fighting wasn't about time with the kids but money. That is the sad part. I don't care about the money just as long as I get to keep the children with me. I love them more than myself.
My oldest son changed me for the better. I was quite the hell raiser when I was younger, who knows if I would still be a live today if I had not changed. In my eyes my son saved my life. And for that I am truly grateful. My ex would not feel like that for him. What I mean by this is that he didn't want to be father at a young age and who does. He would tell me time and time again I messed up his life by having a child with him. The funny part about this is that he is about to have his third child and he just got married. He is taking all the same steps he took with me. I just find it funny.
So for me getting married again is just not in deck of cards. I am with a man that just does not want that with me. So forever single....no not really... just taken.